LGBTQ | Arts & Culture | New Haven Pride Center | Ninth Square
Hayden Earnshaw, Maggie Goodwin and Juancarlos Soto. Grayce Howe Photos.
“I want you all to look at me.”
The words rang through the New Haven Pride Center as 19-year-old Hayden Earnshaw took the floor. Moments before, U.S. Sen. Chris Murphy had asked them to describe some of the biggest challenges facing LGBTQ+ youth.
“I want you all to look me in the eyes,” Earnshaw said as everyone’s eyes rested on theirs. “This is the face of a trans-gay youth. Hi, my name is Hayden. I’m 19 years old and I use they/them pronouns”
Seated beside Earnshaw, Maggie Goodwin turned her head toward them and listened.
Goodwin is a 74-year-old representative of Rainbow Elders and Friends, one of the longest-running affinity groups at the New Haven Pride Center. Earnshaw is a student and proud member of the GSA at Cooperative Arts and Humanities High School in New Haven. Monday, they came together during a panel at New Haven Pride Center, where U.S. Sen. Chris Murphy continued his statewide tour to combat loneliness through safe “third spaces” and in-person dialogue and discussion.
In addition to Murphy, Earnshaw, and Goodwin, the panel included Connecticut State Treasurer Erick Russell, Pride Center Executive Director Juancarlos Soto, New Haven Mayor Justin Elicker, the Health Collective Executive Director David Grant, Equality CT’s Matt Blinstrubas, Colchester First Selectman Bernie Dennler, and West Hartford Equity Coordinator Adrienne Billings-Smith.
Murphy, Earnshaw and Goodwin.
“You know about New Haven,” said Elicker. “We are proudly a place where everyone is welcome, and it’s the same for Connecticut. When I think about what’s going around the nation, where some other cities and states are actively promoting our differences instead of highlighting how overwhelmingly we have things in common as a community … then I think about Connecticut that is stepping up to embrace everyone.”
Throughout, panelists emphasized the importance of queer joy and intergenerational community building, jumping between topics as Murphy kept the questions coming. Speaking early in the lineup, Earnshaw pointed to both as sources of safety and solidarity among and for queer people. As a member of Co-Op’s GSA and a student who has navigated the social isolation of COVID-19, they know that firsthand.
“Queer joy is so important,” Earnshaw said to polite applause. “Queer joy is really important and that ties back into having safe spaces and well-known communities … it’s something I’ve relied on for many years.”
In a conversation that ranged from safe spaces to social media, that joy remained a focal point. As Earnshaw explained that social media can be an outlet for spreading queer joy and building community, they also mentioned that social media does hinder in-person connection, which is a priority when combating loneliness.
Elaine Kolb: “I salute all of you but especially Hayden, because to have the bravery to be up there and speaking your truth… wow.”
Using social media also doesn’t work for everyone, Goodwin added. She pointed to a 2021 LGBTQ+ Needs Assessment from the state of Connecticut, which showed “a feeling of isolation” in both young people and seniors. Many of them don’t regularly use social media or feel alienated from it, she said.
The needs assessment revealed “that seniors were maybe going back into the closet because they weren’t really feeling comfortable in their nursing home or even having somebody come into their home,” she said. “They felt somewhat invisible to the people providing their home care and their medical care.”
She and Earnshaw also acknowledged the value of LGBTQ+ spaces, like school-wide GSAs, citywide LGBTQ+ committees and task forces, and support and affinity groups. In New Haven, the Pride Center is one such example, with weekly peer-led support groups, a food pantry and clothing closet, several community partnerships, and all-ages LGBTQ+ programming that has grown since its move down Orange Street.
These can also be spaces of intergenerational dialogue. Goodwin said she believes older people can help remind young people that it does get better—that there is life after “mean kids” in school and the ignorance of administrators. She urged attendees to remain hopeful even as anti-LGBTQ legislation sweeps state legislatures across the country.
“We haven’t had the same experience, but we’ve lived through and there may be some ways where us older gay folks can be helpful to younger folks … to give them a little hope that there is life past the bad things that are happening in school,” she said.
Around them, the Pride Center was a constant, bright reminder that there are places for queer students to go. Inside, the walls are lined with vibrant pride flags. Bookshelves overflow with books on LGBTQ+ coming-of-age stories, and the ceiling-to-floor windows are never curtained. Soto expressed the importance of such a resource, which does its best to foster a safe space.
“We will not merely survive, we will flourish,” he said. He pointed to the Center’s new “Pride Passion Nights,” designed to incubate a space for learning and understanding, provide community programming, and offer peer-lead environments for young people.
As the panel opened up to the public, West Havener Elaine Kolb made her way to the front of the room in her six-wheel powered wheelchair, taking the microphone from the stand and holding it to herself as she began to speak. She addressed not only Murphy and the audience but also Earnshaw directly.
Kolb began by pointing out her age—she is 74—and then asked the crowd to imagine her as young as Earnshaw. When Kolb was 19, being queer and out was still “officially a mental illness and was absolutely illegal,” she said. Kolb still came out—not only to herself and her family but also, proudly, very publically.
She described the Pride Center and the message it spreads as a “miracle” and commended Earnshaw for embracing who they are. That hasn’t always been easy for her, she said: At 28, she was stabbed in the back while in Australia, an injury that put her in a wheelchair.
The pride was evident. The entire panel provided a space for a flourishing community and intergenerational connection. The presence of Queer joy surrounded each panelist and audience member as they watched LGBTQ+ identifiers young and old laugh and smile and share stories, understanding each detail regardless of their age gap.
As Kolb found herself emotional, she suddenly faced Earnshaw, reaching her hand out in praise.
“Wow…” she said, looking Earnshaw right in the eyes. “I salute all of you but especially Hayden, because to have the bravery to be up there and speaking your truth… wow.”
Grayce Howe is the Arts Paper's 2024 New Haven Academy intern. The New Haven Academy internship is a program for NHA juniors that pairs them with a professional in a field that is interesting to them. From now through May 24, look out for her byline!