Culture & Community | LGBTQ | Arts & Culture | New Haven Pride Center | Ninth Square
Darnell Ray. Lucy Gellman Photos.
Darnell Ray rotated a deck of playing cards in his hands, a smile teasing at the edges of his mouth. Already, he had caught up with staff at A Place To Nourish Your Health, shopped handmade soaps, and considered a massage to take the tension out of his shoulders. Now, he struck up a conversation with Elm City Games’ Greg Matta about the importance of having a welcoming space in the heart of New Haven.
Friday afternoon, that sense of acceptance permeated “Pride In Balance,” the New Haven Pride Center’s (NHPC) first-ever LGBTQ+ wellness fair. Organized by Support Services Coordinator Bennie Saldana, the event built a bridge between LGBTQ+ New Haveners and the social services they may be seeking, from gender-affirming care to cosmetologists who specialize in trans clientele. Dozens attended over the four-hour event.
“We would like to connect people with these opportunities,” said Saldana, buzzing from table to table every few minutes. “Traditionally, that lack of access [to services] has been a big burden on our community. Why should that be an obstacle?”
Top: Mel DeFilippo, research coordinator at A Place to Nourish Your Health (APNH) and Tiny. Bottom: Saldana.
Saldana has been excited to watch it grow and evolve, he added. Last year, Center staff found themselves talking about how to expand wellness-based programming at the organization, particularly after a move to 50 Orange St. For him, it felt personal: Saldana grew up in Bridgeport, surrounded by family members who didn’t always trust mental health professionals. He had to do a lot of healing before he could help others, he said.
For him, that looks like going to therapy, making time for the gym, writing and reading and performing in drag. Now that he knows how to take (and seek) care of himself, he said, he wants to share those resources with those around him.
That approach radiated from one end of the center to the other, weaving in between vendor tables, a pumping DJ booth, and a station stocked with food from Sabor Sajoma. Bathed in bright Friday afternoon light, stylist Marlie Rodriguez introduced attendees to the Center’s new Gender-Affirming Haircut Program, a collaboration with The Barberie & Salon that begins this month.
Marlie Rodriguez.
Earlier this year, the program was born after NHPC Executive Director Juancarlos Soto walked in for a haircut and met Rodriguez, a Puerto Rican small business owner who runs The Barberie with her husband, Gio. Currently, participants in the program can pick up a gift card at the Pride Center, and redeem it at The Barberie, which is located at 488 Orange St. in New Haven’s East Rock neighborhood.
Rodriguez said she’s thrilled to start the program. As the parent of a queer child, she’s seen firsthand the difference that gender-affirming care, from the doctor’s office to the salon chair, can make. Meanwhile, she loves doing hair: it helps her relax, and she befriends her clients more often than not in the process.
“I really wanted people to feel welcome and be comfortable,” she said. “I like to help people feel good about themselves. We’re a safe, all-inclusive space.”
That was welcome news to friends Ryu and Autumn Mortali, both steadfast supporters of the center who have been excited to see its expansion. A bookkeeper with the organization, Mortali pointed to how hair care and styling can improve a trans person’s quality of life.
“Things like this are so important,” he said. “ It can make the difference if I pass or not.”
Top: Ryu and Mortali. Bottom: Perez.
As prices continue to climb, Mortali added, a voucher program like the Center’s can make the difference between feeling financially stable and comfortable in one’s own skin or having to choose between a haircut and groceries.
“There is all the stuff I didn’t know existed,“ Ryu chimed in of the fair, taking in the scene station by station.
Nearby, artist Jordan Perez invited attendees to come in close, chatting with them over a display of necklaces and beaded bracelets, small keys dangling from nearly every loop and chain. As he greeted passers by, Perez explained that the keys symbolize his own path to self-care and healing—a path he now wants to share as widely as possible.
Born in Brooklyn and raised in Humacao, Puerto Rico, Perez grew up Pentecostal, and spent years trying to reconcile his own queer identity with what the church was telling him about gay people. Three years ago, he found himself in a deep depression. Jewelry making helped pull him out of it.
“It started in a dark place in my life,” he said, his hands hovering birdlike over his creations. His partner, the Rev. Edwin Perez, struck up another conversation about wellness nearby. “This was my escape. It motivated me to seek healing.”
Greg Matta.
One room over, Ray struck up a conversation with Matta, praising the importance of Elm City Games as an inclusive “third space” in the Ninth Square. Growing up in New York City, Ray didn’t always have spaces like those, he said. When he came out at 19, “it was very difficult.”
In the decades since, he has never stopped searching for a consistent queer community, first in New York and for the past decade in New Haven and West Haven. So when he heard about the wellness fair from an LGBT crew affinity group that he attends at Cornell Scott-Hill Health Center, he was excited to check it out.
“I think it’s terrific, “he said. “It’s wonderful for people like us to come together and have a space like this.”
And for the rest of the afternoon, that spirit of gathering was in full force. With a tote bag slung over his shoulder, Ray checked out tables from Planned Parenthood of Greater New Haven, Fair Haven Community Health Center, Anchor Health, wealth management advisors, and several others. He chatted it up with Tiny, a representative of A Place to Nourish Your Health focused on outreach in the community.
Top: Rebecca Cohen of Stable Grounds Therapy. Bottom: Zack Keegan of Nolla Wellness.
The focus on care comes at a time when LGBTQ+ rights are increasingly endangered across the country. Currently, there are over 500 anti-trans pieces of legislation across 42 states alone. Brooke Tweedie, a research assistant with Temple University’s Phoenix Gender Based Violence Lab, stressed the importance of focusing specifically on the needs of LGBTQ+ people, which may be different or more expansive than their heterosexual peers.
In addition to mental and physical health and wellness, Saldana said, Friday’s fair also centered on relaxation. There from Nolla Wellness, colleagues Maria Roscoe and Zack Keegan provided on-site massages, offering attendees a Pride-based discount on future visits.
“We’re really excited to support the community and be a resource,” said Roscoe, a co-owner of the spot. “ I just think it’s a way of outwardly showing support. We’re trying to show people how they can take care of themselves.”
Creative director Kris Tonski, right, with her wife, Sarah. Bottom: Yarnshaper's Tiffany Hsu.
The creative director of Fusion Design, Kris Tonski praised both the massages—she’d been carrying a lot of tension in her shoulders—and the event, which she was excited to see in the Pride Center’s new home.
As she gazed around, eyes twinkling when they reached her wife Sarah, a speech language pathologist for Hartford HealthCare Rehabilitation Network, she took in the sheer scope of the day’s fair.
“ I think it’s amazing!” she said. “ And it’s necessary."